Eulogy for My Grandfather

Unbreakable Love

by Markisan Antonio Naso
Read on October 8, 2011


Thank you everyone for coming here today. Seeing this sea of faces; seeing all of you who knew and loved my Grandfather is just tremendous. I know he is smiling down on us from the cosmos, puffing away on a Heavenly cigar, thankful that we are all here to celebrate the time we got to spend with him in his life.

[Holds up pocket watch]

Nearly 20 years ago my Grandfather gave me this pocket watch. I was just 17 and had graduated from high school. I remember he took me aside one day. There was a great glimmer in his kind eyes when he held out his hand and told me he had found this watch when he was young. I’m not even sure how old this watch is now, but he held on to it all those years… a remembrance of another time.

I will never forget when he put his hand on my shoulder and told me how proud he was to be my Grandfather. I was his very first Grandchild on the way to making my mark in life, and he wanted me to know that I was special.

I remember how thrilled I was when he placed his watch into my hands, but I have to admit I didn’t really understand everything this relic meant.

But today, at age 36, after nearly four decades of spending time with my Grandpa, and admiring him beyond measure, I think maybe I know a little better now what the gift of this watch truly signifies, because I know who my Grandfather was.

Tony Torrelli was a mountain of affection, humor, and undeniable Italian swagger. He was a soldier, a Christian, a volunteer firefighter for U-Crest Fire Company and a mason. But most importantly, he was a man who loved and lived for his family every single day of his life.

Grandpa grew up in Buffalo, one of four children. He dropped out of school after 8th grade to help support the Torrelli family business, laying concrete as a member of the local 111 Mason’s Union. He was drafted into the Army during World War II, where he served as a cook in 785th Military Police Battalion for nearly two years – 13 months of which was in the Pacific Theater. Before I even knew him, my Grandpa was busy being a hero.

After he came home, his little sister Rita introduced him to her friend, Alice. According to my Aunt Linda, this was the beginning of “the Greatest Love Story.” And if you ever saw Alice and Tony together you know just how much they adored one another. Alice soon became Mrs. Anthony Torrelli, my darling grandmother, in 1948.

For many years, you could find my Grandpa and Grandma celebrating their love on the dance floor whenever they could, waltzing to their favorite crooners, Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra. They were completely devoted to one other for over 60 years. In fact, they would have been married 63 years next month on November 25th.

This love they’ve had is something that even death can’t defeat. Yesterday, Grandma revealed that Grandpa was a great kisser and that she had once promised to give him 450,000 smooches. She said she wasn’t able to give him all those kisses while he was here with us, but she has plans. The rest will be delivered by starlight.

My Grandpa was happiest around his family. He was tremendously proud of his four children – John, Susan, Linda, and Mark – for doing what made them happy and successful in their lives, whether it was my Uncle John opening his own racecar building business, my Uncle Mark’s knowledge and passion for motorcycles, my Aunt Linda’s unwavering dedication to taking care of her family or my Mom’s hard work to get through Physical Therapy School.

Always the gentle giant, Grandpa never raised his voice at home and loved to be around his children. Once when Grandma was away, he lifted his kids on the counter and made them milkshakes for dinner. Grandpa also enjoyed teaching what he knew. He taught his sons the masonry business. He taught my mama how to lay tile in her bedroom on High Street. He encouraged each of his kids to stand up for themselves and for their family, and he always championed the mantra of Old Blue Eyes – “I did it my way.” My Grandfather did everything he could to love and support his children while allowing them to grow up as unique individuals.

He did the same for his Grandchildren. He would light up whenever he saw his grandkids: me, Joe, Melissa, Matt, Derrick, and Cindy; and more recently, his Great-Grandchildren: Sofia, Brooke, and Gabriella. I remember how he would drive his riding mower and take us along for long rides on his lap. He always made time to come watch us play sports or whatever else we competed in or participated in, and he would always be the first to let us know how great we did. He loved to be the center of family parties, eventually settling in just to watch the festivities with a cigar and a great big grin on his face. When he wasn’t telling stories or playing with us youngsters, you could often find him tinkering in his garage or with Uncle John and Uncle Mark at Torrelli Pro Cars. Working with his sons started with a simple lunch request, then came an offer to help clean up the shop, and finally Grandpa just became a fixed part of the crew making cars. Uncle John said no one could wield a bandsaw quite like my Grandpa.

In my Grandfather’s later years, when his health began to wane, he knew he could count on his kids to be there for him as he was for them. He would often threaten to sic his daughter “Dr. Sue” on unruly doctors and nurses. He was forever thankful for Linda, John and Mark for taking care of him and Grandma. In fact he called My Aunt Linda “The General“ because she would walk into the doctor’s office with a binder full of records, always ready to tackle any problem that arose. As my Grandfather supported and loved his family, they supported and loved him in return.

[Holds up pocket watch]

So, standing up here with this watch my Grandfather gave me, looking back on his life and who he was, the reason why he gave me this gift all those years ago is so much more clear. This watch is more than just a cool trinket for a teenager. It’s a symbol of his legacy.

My Grandpa wore many hats in his life, but none of them would have fit right without his family. He believed in passing down the best of what you’ve learned in your lifetime to those around you. He knew the value of love and making all the little moments matter… Like helping build a race car with his sons because he wanted to be around them more. Like showing you how much his heart swelled whenever he watched you accomplish something that mattered to you. Like finding the love of his life and making each and every day at her side feel special. Like finding a pocket watch as a kid and passing down his great childhood discovery to his eldest Grandson.

Grandpa, you were the heart and blood of our family. You were everything that a father, Grandfather and hero should be. Thank you for giving so much of yourself every time I saw you, and for showing me how important it is to not only surround yourself with family, but to stand by them and to let them know how much they matter. I already miss your good nature and your encouragement. I miss your nicknames and your mammoth hugs.

When I look at this watch I know exactly what you instilled in your children and their children in the time we were lucky enough to spend with you. I know your legacy of unbreakable love. And I will do my best to ensure the generations that follow know it too.

Goodbye "Wario." I love you.