Ren Faire 2009

Yesterday we attended the Renaissance Faire in Bristol, Wisconsin. There was cleavage spilling over corsets. (HB often and aptly described them as "vein-ey.") There were elf ears and devils horns. There were floral headpieces. There were velvet dresses with long flowing sleeves and leather boots. (Even some with curly toes.) There was a pseudo-mime named Moonie with ping pong balls in his cheeks, and kids wearing chain mail with light sabers. There was even a giant papier mache jester.

There were also fish in chips served in newspaper that hadn't been invented in 1574 (apparently it came about in 1838, thanks to Charles Fenerty of Halifax, which is not even on the same continent as England...), shrimp and vegetable tempura, ice cream crepes, and bratwurst. And Leinenkugel. Can't forget the Leine! Our Irish Chum ate a giant turkey leg and declared it good.

Admission was $16.45 because we had coupons for $2.50 off the regular adult admission. But once inside, we were offered many opportunities to pay $10 to throw 10 tomatoes at a fellow throwing insults right back, pay 2 "pounds" to climb a rope ladder (Tracy never did figure out how they calculated the currency conversion), and pay 5 "pounds" to pummel your buddy with period rapiers. Our new friend Steve was disappointed that San and the Irish Chum wouldn't ride The Hurlinator with him. The cinnamon roasted pecans were pretty yummy.

We passed a giant nose on stilts with wavering arms, and witness Queen Elizabeth be a bitch to her courtiers. Then we got bored and wandered off to find something else to look at.

We ended the afternoon (which was overcast and a bit chilly) with The Mudshow. Billy tweaked his left nipple at us, and got jiggy with one of the patrons on his "side." Hanonymus whined, and thrust his hips in an inappropriate manner and grunted. "Trojans, Trojans, we will never break! Sparta, Sparta, *mumble mutter junk* " Mr. Wiggles was the judge in his mud splattered fez. At least, we think he was Mr. Wiggles. We're not really sure. San yelled "MONKEY" into the crowd at random and for no obvious reason. The Mud Men failed to notice.

http://www.mudshow.com/

They scammed San out of $1. Which was actually Tracy's. The power of competition was a shockingly effective way to collect hats full of bills. Disgustingly effective, in fact.

Chilled and exhausted, Tracy drove and San snored home.